The prime minister and his fiancée, Carrie Symonds, have apparently sent out ‘save the day’ cards for their proposed wedding on the 30th July 2022 at a secret location*. We expect ours got lost in the post.
*Presumably, bidding is still open on who gets the honour of donating a stately home for the occasion.
Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds have sent cards inviting friends and family to “celebrate their wedding”, it was reported last night. https://t.co/mHR59TbMym
— The Times (@thetimes) May 24, 2021
Third time lucky, as they say.
It’s not exactly a shocking turn of events, both because of the dead giveaway word, ‘fiancée’, and the fact that they need something to distract attention from the Dominic Cummings allegations, which include:
Herd immunity was the government’s policy
The PM missed key Covid meetings because he was working on his biography of Shakespeare, in order to avoid returning his book advance, which was crucial to covering the cost of his most recent divorce.
pretty strange situation
– Cummings says: herd immunity was the initial plan
– Twitter says: boring, everyone knew that
– Downing Street says: no, it was never the plan— Henry Mance (@henrymance) May 24, 2021
To be (at the meeting), or not to be (at the meeting), that is the question… https://t.co/RoEvxyoBVd
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 24, 2021
As dead cats go – sorry, Larry – a distant wedding date of a long-engaged couple draws very little attention as it lands on the table.
"Boris Johnson to marry fiancée Carrie Symonds in July 2022"
Dead cats ain't what they used to be.https://t.co/QqJ9a7wocL
— Paul (@PaulOnBooks) May 24, 2021
The row about who footed the bill for the couple’s refurbishment of their Downing Street flat after Carrie declared Theresa May’s style ‘a John Lewis nightmare’, along with recent allegations that the JCB head paid for thousands of pounds worth of takeaways for the couple, prompted speculation about wedding costs.
Apparently, this is what Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds thought was better than a "John Lewis nightmare".
*They thought this was classier* pic.twitter.com/QGboeCx12K
— Garrioch
(@RC_Garrioch) April 27, 2021
Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds are to be married in 2022. For wedding presents they are asking for wallpaper, take-aways, an entire nursery and any PPE contracts you have lying around.
— Dave (@davechannel) May 24, 2021
Just wondering if Boris Johnson and Carrie will have JCB or something on their wedding frocks..like footballers have their sponsors?
— kate dodd (@katedodd3) May 24, 2021
But the news was the gift that keeps on giving – like a toaster or a Le Creuset casserole dish – and these funny tweeters RSVPED in style.
1.
A vacancy has arisen for the post of Mistress To The Prime Minister. Job starts July 2022. To apply, please text me with nude pics. xxhttps://t.co/cbbqzQKrJJ
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) May 24, 2021
2.
So, Carrie Symonds, was it his high moral standards or because he's so drop dead gorgeous? pic.twitter.com/MUmeXhbqBm
— JD Black
(@_JD_Black) May 24, 2021
3.
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 24, 2021
4.
BREAKING NEWS Johnson willing to pay for his own wedding. https://t.co/1QZakw6P8G
— Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) May 24, 2021
5.
Johnson and Carrie Symonds are getting married and there’s one question we all want him to pop before the wedding…
Which Tory donor will pay for it?
— Helen the Zen
(@helenmallam) May 24, 2021
6.
Crowdfunding for Boris's wedding. If there's any money left over I'll set it aside for the next one.
— Sir Frank Marcois
(@frankmarcois) May 24, 2021
The post Our favourite funny RSVPs to the Johnson-Symonds wedding invitations appeared first on The Poke.
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