Corinne Bailey Rae says the only way to cope with losing her husband Jason to a drug overdose was to consider herself ‘lucky’ that they had ever met.
At the same time the British Grammy winner admitted she lived in fear of withstanding the physical pain of her grief for the rest of her life.
The Put Your Records On singer revisited the nightmare whilst discussing his death 12 years ago in a Hyde Park flat in London.
‘I remember thinking, “I’ve had a really good run. I’m 29 and I’ve got to have this deep romance,’ said the star, now 41.
‘That’s more than a lot of people have, so I’m really lucky. But at the same time, I thought, “How am I supposed to survive the stretching decades? How am I going to survive with this actual physical pain?” At first, all you can see is the destruction, but then your life grows. New things grow.’
Corinne was given a new lease of life after she went on to start a family with producer Steve Brown, who she married five years later.
The mum-of-one told Red magazine: ‘It’s so funny when you know someone already – you know their ex-girlfriend, and the one before that, and you know their failings and flaws. It was very gradual falling in love with him, like the volume being turned up.’
The Like A Star singer shares a daughter with the music producer and they typically keep their marriage private.
Opening up about their life away from the public eye, Corinne told Metro.co.uk last summer: ‘I’ve always been quite private in my personal life and it was so weird when I lost my first husband because suddenly, everyone was so interested in my personal life whereas they hadn’t been before.
‘They were like, “Oh, you’re married, you’re boring”. That’s when Amy [Winehouse] was here and there was so much focus on, if you’re a popstar you have to stumble out of a club drunk. I always felt like I was the antithesis of that.
‘I like to live my life.’
Read the full Read the full Corinne Bailey Rae interview in the September issue of Red, on sale August 6. It is available in all supermarkets and online at MagsDirect.
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