Rishi Sunak tells Tory members he’s just been taught to use a contactless card

Incredibly wealthy former chancellor and current prime ministerial candidate, Rishi Sunak, has been trying to win hearts and minds with his plans for government – like a swift bonfire of EU regulations and a renewed war on drugs.

Rishi Sunak: ‘I have never taken drugs and I will be incredibly tough on anyone who does.’
pic.twitter.com/xrEipVIjyq

— Count Binface (@CountBinface) August 9, 2022

BREAKING: Rishi Sunak plans to let under-qualified people become pilots and surgeons by scrapping "unfair EU regulations" so we can urgently fill job vacancies x

— Laura Kuenssberg Translator (@BBCLauraKT) August 7, 2022

During Tuesday’s hustings in Darlington, he raised the ghost of his attempt to human like the plebs, when he promoted the 5p fuel duty cut by doing this –

Say what you like about Rishi, he does a cracking impression of a billionaire who has never been in a shop before. pic.twitter.com/Yd6Hu07llP

— THE SECRET TORY (@secrettory12) March 23, 2022

He told an audience of Tory Party members why that gaffe wouldn’t happen again.

Rishi Sunak: “The most embarrassing thing that's happened to me is I struggled to pay for the petrol in a car that wasn't my own… And since then someone's taught me how to use that contactless machine. And I tell you, it's an amazing modern marvel this technology these days!”

— Dan Bloom (@danbloom1) August 9, 2022

A member of his embarrassingly small band of allies insisted it was a joke, meaning he’s either really bad at normal life or he’s really bad at jokes.

Tweeters took him at his word.

What world is he living in? https://t.co/TmfSck2fAD

— Chris Bryant (@RhonddaBryant) August 10, 2022

“I tell you, it's an amazing modern marvel this technology these days!”

Contactless payments were introduced in the UK in 2007

Rishi Sunak, the ex-hedge finder who was in charge of country’s coffers & wants to be PM, had to be taught how to tap his card!https://t.co/uUbTaXyIuW

— Stefan Simanowitz (@StefSimanowitz) August 10, 2022

[plan desperately needed to tackle cost of living crisis that is spiraling out of control]

Rishi Sunak: may I offer you a whacky anecdote about how I'm too rich to know how to use a debit card

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) August 10, 2022

When you are so rich you just don’t have to worry about knowing how to buy stuff https://t.co/U2b6cqKEvb

— Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO) August 10, 2022

Just Doogie Howser MP over here, marvelling over this brand spanking new technological wizardry just about everyone in the UK had in their cards by 2014.

— Dmitry Grozoubinski (@DmitryOpines) August 10, 2022

Contactless payment has been around since 2007 & in 2021 there were over 13 billion contactless payments

Rishi Sunak, former Chancellor: pic.twitter.com/oVEKiSO03k

— Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) August 10, 2022

I’m the person who taught Rishi Sunak how to use a contactless machine. Six hour session, £50 grand consultancy fee. https://t.co/USStqZWQfX

— Fergus Craig (@FergusCraig) August 10, 2022

Genuinely fascinated by this. What the fuck is he talking about.

— Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) August 10, 2022

I think he meant 'the most embarrassing thing until I made up this specious bollocks.' https://t.co/yHTegvhrX5

— Brian Moore (@brianmoore666) August 10, 2022

10.

Its great that we can have a contender to lead the country who has less knowledge about how the world works than an alien whose just arrived on the planet for the 1st time. You'd take the alien to your leader, and the green guy would have to explain how contactless works to him https://t.co/tMR4NGIyRx

— Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) August 10, 2022

11.

Siri, show me an absolutely copper-bottomed example of what "hopelessly, embarrassingly out of touch" looks like. How can a 42-year-old man not know how contactless payments work?? https://t.co/hejIWOeNFD

— Kate Bevan (@katebevan) August 10, 2022

12.