Even the most cursory glance at Twitter over the last few days would have alerted you to the curious phenomenon of Tories telling poor people why they’re wrong to say their children are hungry, via the medium of *checks notes* cookery tips.
A perfect example is this breakfast recipe from MP Dominic Farrell.
Twitter wasn’t impressed by his – or anyone else’s – blinkered advice, and the #ToryFoodTips hashtag was born.
It’s a smörgåsbord of humour and scathing owns. Feast your eyes on these:
1.
If you find your cupboards bare during lockdown, drive to your family’s estate in Durham, shoot some pheasant, pick some veg from the walled garden and perhaps a carp or two from the pond for a starter. Any personal chef should be able to improvise from such scraps. #ToryFoodTips
— Oisín McGann (@OisinMcGann) October 26, 2020
2.
all these parents pleading poverty don't they know that for only 7p you can feed a family of twelve with sandwiches made out of mud and bits of old cardboard#ToryFoodTips
— dave
(@davemacladd) October 26, 2020
3.
New Conservative Minister for Poor People gives dietary tips for those on a tight budget.#ToryFoodTips pic.twitter.com/RhK0KIfoia
— John Irvine (@mastaace_GOAT) October 26, 2020
4.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man how to fish and arrest him for trespassing and stealing because the river he's fishing in belongs to Lord Frumple-Twat of Scumshire.
— Tommy P
(@Cautious_Koala) October 26, 2020
5.
Eating from bins.
Cost: £0p#ToryFoodTips
— a$hok kumar (@broseph_stalin) October 26, 2020
6.
Please remember that a dog is not just for Christmas. There should also be enough for a Boxing Day curry and then stock for a nice soup. #ToryFoodTips
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 26, 2020
7.
Potato, small 8p
Tomato 9p
Onion 11p
Tea light 20p
Skewer 5p
Match 1pFlame roast your kebab until edible. Then burn the skewer in lieu of heating the house#ToryFoodTips pic.twitter.com/vegRz8NZdJ
— Robert (@ClatchardCraig) October 26, 2020
8.
BREAKING: Universal Credit claimants to be sanctioned unless they can prove they've spent 35 hours a week foraging for apples. #ToryFoodTips
— Laura Kuenssberg! ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ (@BBCPropagandist) October 26, 2020
9.
Pint of beer: £4
Cigarettes: £13
Forming a human centipede and living off the fecal matter of the person slightly ahead of you: £0.00There's no excuse for being hungry-
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 26, 2020
10.
I found myself out of work in March, 3 kids to feed
But I pulled myself up by my bootstraps & set up my own company selling a much needed product that I knew nothing aboutHard work pays off & 6 weeks later we got our 1st order for £121 million off government
— MajorTom
DO NOT FEED THE MP’s
(@TheMajorTom7) October 26, 2020
The post Feast your eyes on the 19 funniest ‘Tory Food Tips’ appeared first on The Poke.
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